Upright, But Only Just

I have just returned from a courageous expedition to Trader Joe’s.  During this expedition for bananas and roasted red pepper tomato soup, I have ascertained that Trader Joe’s is the most terrifying place in Raleigh to be, if your balance is shaky due to an injured knee.  THEY GIVE TODDLERS SHOPPING CARTS THERE.  Toddlers just aim for you, if you look vulnerable.  Aim, and charge.  I was also almost run over by an elderly couple who were exuberant about the holiday endcaps full of Jo-Jos.  There is nothing to do in either case but freeze and hope they will lose interest in charging you with shopping carts and veer at the last second.

Tate left me a message offering to get my groceries, so I will save my limited outings for something less perilous next time.  My friends are all great that way.  Tucker sent me homemade soup this weekend, and Willow brought me pizza and beer, and Ollie and Beaumont came for a visit (mainly Beaumont came to chew on my feet) and everyone is offering to run errands and bring movies and loan me books.  It’s amazing how nice people are if you look even the slightest bit pitiful when hobbling around the house. I do so love my friends.

There’s nothing good on TV tonight, which is fine because Julia brought me this treasure-trove yesterday:


Magazines! Magazines! Magazines! In this year of belt-tightening, I have let all of my subscriptions expire, and I only allow myself to buy magazines for airplanes. I only get to read them at the doctor’s office or salon.  This is a bonanza of good magazine fortune of epic proportions.  There is a travel magazine, and a delightfully elitist literary magazine, and a let’s-pretend-we’re-rich magazine, and a really fat fashion magazine, and my favorite I-wish-architecture-were-this-much-fun magazine.

Julia knows me well enough to have bought me one really trashy magazine, the one with the Generals’ Sex Scandal on the cover.  I have been known to walk into parties lately asking “What in the world was crazy whistle-blowing FBI dude thinking by forcing an investigation after sending shirtless pictures of himself to the e-mail account in question?” (What WAS he thinking?  And who will play him in the made-for-TV movie which will certainly follow?)    For the record, my other favorite scandal is the current Wake County School Board fiasco.  $20,000 dollars in a pink backpack, Deb? You didn’t file an insurance claim for the $100,000 worth of jewelry?  There was nothing going on between you two? C’mon, Deborah.  Fess up.  There is something somebody is not telling us.  It’s pure storytelling gold, really.  Honestly, I do not delight in the misfortunes of others, unless the others are a) elected officials who have chosen to live in the spotlight, and b) these elected officials have also chosen to behave badly.  Therefore, I am saving this magazine for last and will enjoy every page.

Hope everyone else is having an equally productive and entertaining week.



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